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Before you finally work up the nerve to hit on that cute associate from down the hall, consider the recent spate of office romance horror stories in the press lately.

The most prominent case as of late has been that of CBS late-night show host David Letterman. Letterman admitted on-air to a long history of affairs with subordinates after he was unsuccessfully blackmailed by a man who was aware of the office affairs. While Letterman is presumably in the doghouse with his wife and suffered some embarrassment, the revelations have not seemed to negatively impacted him much. In fact, his ratings have skyrocketed since the midwesterner’s dirty laundry has been publicly aired.

Others have not been so lucky.

Recently, ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips was fired from the sports network in the wake of a messy short-lived affair with a young intern. The intern was also fired. And Phillips’ wife and the mother of his four children is now seeking a divorce. This is not Phillips’ first foray into office liaisons gone awry. In 1998, when he was the general manager of the New York Mets, he took a leave of absence after he was sued for sexual harassment by a co-worker. At the time he admitted to multiple affairs. The suit was later settled out of court.

As lawyers spend a sizeable amount of time at work, a by-product of the need for billable hours — and the corresponding lack of time for hobbies — workplace romances are bound to bloom from time-to-time. Forget Lavalife: The office is the new dating service.

Some Canadian law firms have policies about dating within the office; others say they have none. Still others frown upon liaisons between employer and employee.

Even if there’s no potential blackmailer lurking in the wings à la Letterman, the office romance/
affair/liaison is a minefield that needs to be carefully navigated. If it goes wrong, it can damage your reputation with your peers and even affect your opportunities for advancement. Then again, your soulmate may be working in the office next to you — and who wants to pass up that kind of opportunity?

Before you consider jumping into the murky waters of office dating, find out first if your firm or company has any policy against it. Better to know beforehand what you’re getting into. As well, it’s important to consider whether you and your potential date are on an equal footing at the office or whether one of you could be seen as receiving preferential treatment as a result of the relationship. Even if everything is above board, according to Simon Kent, senior partner at Kent Employment Law in Vancouver, you want to avoid the appearance of impropriety. “Most of the time, it’s an issue of optics, but where the problem lies is when there is clear evidence of favouritism.” Consider the situation of a City of Toronto employee who was head of the municipal standards department. She had an affair with one of her employees. His subsequent promotions were called into question, and both of them were suspended from their jobs.

Maureen Wareham, corporate secretary and chief ethics officer at Hydro One, said that they do not have a policy forbidding romantic relationships between employees. “However, we do have a Code of Business Conduct, which requires our employees to treat each other with dignity and respect. Those rules would also apply to workplace romances.” Wareham said that a romance between people in a direct reporting relationship would be considered a conflict of interest, and that would be dealt with by moving one of the parties to a different reporting environment. Such policies are common, and a reflection that office romances are bound to happen. What does create problems, Wareham said, is when people try to hide the relationship and another employee finds out about it and complains. Then the issue becomes not the romance itself, but the deception.

Simon Kent agreed with this assessment. As messy as an office romance may be, he said it is hard for an employer to make the case to fire an employee simply because they are seeing someone with whom they work. Not being upfront about it can inadvertently give an employer just the ammunition it needs. “The strongest reason to get rid of the potential problem is the lying about whether there is a relationship.”

You might also want to consider the impact of your relationship on the office as a whole. If you’re too lovey-dovey at work, it can compromise the office environment, make other people uncomfortable and leave the employer open for a lawsuit on having created a toxic workplace. Additionally, you run the risk of being tied to the other person’s career advancement, or lack of it, by being seen as a team — and that can limit your ability to blaze your own trail at work.

Of course, if you are married, as is the case for Letterman and Phillips, and are having dalliances at work this can make things even more messy and awkward. Perhaps if you are going to have an extra-marital affair it is best to look outside of the office walls for a suitable fling.

It may be hard to consider when you are in the throes of passion/romance/lust (depending on the situation) but you should think about what happens if your soulmate/colleague turns out to be a dud. What will the end of the relationship mean to your ability to work together? Will deals be affected? Will you be the subject of office gossip? Will any clients you both work with suffer from a strained working relationship? Such situations happen regularly. Wareham said that she is aware of situations where the office romance has gone awry and they have had to discipline the employee for poor behaviour.

Kent concurred, with this cautionary tale. “I have seen extreme situations that become an employer’s nightmare, when the breakup is messy and plays out in the workplace. The worst-case scenario is when the police become involved — there are restraining orders in place and yet the people work together. How does the employer police that? Who stays home and who gets paid? It becomes very impractical.” Clearly, the employer doesn’t want to be seen as taking sides in a break-up.

In the cases of Letterman and Phillips, police became involved, charges were laid and people got fired. What presumably started out as a bit of fun ended up having ruinous effects for those involved.

In spite of these issues, Kent remains a proponent of workplace romances and feels that prohibiting them is too restrictive to personal choice. “You can’t completely ban them — I can’t see a court supporting that.” Many workplaces, he said, have no formal policy in place. It’s a delicate balance between interfering with employees’ privacy while maintaining a professional work environment that many firms are unsure of how to handle. But if you are considering implementing one at your office, he suggests that the most important thing is that the guidelines are effectively communicated to the employees. He also said it is important for employers to turn their minds to the issue of what constitutes a “relationship.” “For example, do you have to report a one-night stand to your manager? Does there even have to be a sexual component? What if you are just a favoured employee?”

Workplace romances are here to stay. If you are upfront with your employer about any liaisons and maintain both discretion and professional decorum, you may find that the love of your life is in the cubicle around the corner.